Friday 22 May 2009

Thank you and goodbye

DAY 28 - EGG COUNT 5 (all the girls laying, maybe in honour of being last blog)
Well, this is it, the last blog of the 28 days! Have to say it has gone by very quickly which is ever so slightly scary as it means I am 28 days older but hey ho, that's life.
Don't know if anyone has actually been following this blog but if you have, thank you and I hope the tales I've told haven't been too boring (which would be even more scary as this is my life!)
Tommorrow is the start of another bank holiday weekend (who actually decides we should have 2 in May and then no more till August anyway?)
I am out with my girlfriends tommorow evening, could get a bit hairy as we shall be in Newquay and it will be packed with young, drunken, surfy types. Probably good I am not expected to post a blog on Sunday as expect I will be feeling a tad delicate. Then we have been invited to a BBQ on Sunday so my weekend is a true social whirl. Hope you all enjoy yours,
GOODBYE FROM ALL OF US!

Thursday 21 May 2009

Forgiven and forgotten.

DAY 27 - EGG COUNT 3
Pleased to report our chicken, Blondie greeted my husband with affection this morning (well, as much as a chicken can show affection) and the pecking incident of yesterday is forgiven and forgotten.
Son number one went into work yesterday to collect his wages and was greeted with much sympathy over the state of his black eye which has now turned dark grey giving him a strange 'panda like' appearance. He is to be allowed back to his bar duties next week and it seems he is also forgiven.
All might be well with the world if it wasn't for the fact my husband now has a bad eye (what is it with eyes in this household?) and has to attend an eye clinic at the hospital tommorrow. An appointment at the opticians revealed he may be suffering from some kind of optical nerve strain with an unpronounceable name which he promptly looked up on the internet and frightened himself witless about. A little knowledge can be a dangerous thing in these cases so I have told him to calm down and wait to see what the specialist thinks. As it looks like being a sunny evening, I will distract him by taking him to the pub tonight where a few pints of the landlord's best ale will, I am sure, take his mind of things. See you tommorrow for my final blog - bye for now.

Wednesday 20 May 2009

Hen pecked husband

DAY 26 - EGG COUNT 3 (one with small bloodstain)
My husband truly discovered the meaning of the word 'hen pecked' today and it has nothing to do with me! He went up to feed the hens earlier and to go on his daily egg hunt (as previously mentioned, because they are roaming free, they do not always lay in the henhouse.) He put his hand behind the bush by the greenhouse which he knows is one of Blondie's favourite laying spots not realising she was in there.It must have startled her because she went a bit loopy, pecked him and drew blood and then chased him round the veg patch much to the bemusement of the others who all stopped what they were doing to stare at the spectacle.
Suffice to say, my husband was quite put out but I have calmed him by saying she was probably just frightened and has surely not turned into mad, vicious bird who will repeat attack.
Son number one's eye is now turning spectacular shades of purple, red and black but I have a washed and valeted car and a newly mown lawn so am not complaining. He is cleaning out the garage tommorrow and will be packed off to do a car boot fair with the contents on Saturday - amazing how one person's misfortune can turn into another's advantage, isn't it? Bye for now.

Tuesday 19 May 2009

We are a complete family again

DAY 25 - EGG COUNT 4
Good news and bad news - son number 1 has returned and is almost unscathed apart from an absolute shiner of a black eye. I was puzzled as I thought he just wanted me to make the excuse to his boss that he'd been in a fight, not that he really had. It transpires that he hadn't got beaten up by a stranger but that his mate socked him in order to make his excuse look more authentic! I can hardly believe the foolishness of it and told him so in no uncertain words. Anyhow, it has all backfired on him as his boss has now told him not to bother going back to work until his eye looks better as he does not want a battered and bruised barman frightening his customers - think that serves him right actually. In the meantime, I shall not allow him to loaf around the house and as we speak, I am mentally compiling a list of jobs he can complete for me which will avoid him appearing in public and scaring old ladies and small children. What a plonker!

Monday 18 May 2009

One of our family is missing.

DAY 24 - EGG COUNT 3 (all normal size)
The monstrous egg one of our girls laid yesterday was a triple yolker - my father ate it for breakfast and confessed he would need no more food for the rest of the day.
One of our family is missing - son no 1 has not been seen since Saturday morning but there has been a text message in which he asked if I could phone work and tell them he had been involved in a fight and been arrested which is why he hadn't turned up for his lunchtime shift on Sunday (he works in a bar.) I didn't think this was a good idea for two reasons. Firstly, it was a lie and it wouldn't exactly bode well with his boss knowing he had a criminal thug as a member of his staff and secondly, he didn't even text till 3.30pm (4 hours into his shift.) He has obviously been on a massive bender and lost all sense of time and reality.
It is now 1-35pm on Monday and I have fed his plated up Sunday roast to the dogs and advertised his room out for rent - hope he gets home before there are any takers.

Sunday 17 May 2009

Humpty Dumpty Egg!

DAY 23 - EGG COUNT 5 (including 1 very large specimen)
One of our girls laid an egg of truly monumental proportions today, 3 times as large as a normal egg I would say. When my husband brought it into the office to show me, I gasped in amazement and immediately went up to see them to check none were walking painfully or had watery eyes.
We took it to show my elderly father who instantly claimed it for his breakfast - we'd already had ours so we let him keep it. I will go and find out later but I suspect this may have been a triple yolker.
Today, I was planning to plant up our tubs and hanging baskets which are looking sad and unkempt after the winter. However, I have now abandoned this idea on account of the fact it is raining and blowing a gale outside and not at all spring like. I would not be giving those plants a fair start in life and frankly, they are better off staying in the garden centre's greenhouse until the weather improves (also, I had my nails done on Friday and my man dog has chewed up my gardening gloves.) That's me all out of excuses then! Bye for now.

Saturday 16 May 2009

Barber's shops are strange places.

DAY 22 - EGG COUNT 5
Firstly I must apologise for not posting a blog yesterday which was due to the fact I left the house at 8-15am, didn't return until 9-30pm and had no access to a computer during this period. Also, I returned home via the pub and after several glasses of rose wine, my typing fingers were not quite connecting to my brain.
I have just spent a rather uncomfortable twenty minutes in a barbers shop. The reason for this is because son number 2 missed his bus and was desperate to get his hair cut before starting his shift as a chef (I considered it my public duty not to have a hairy chef in the kitchen and expose some poor unsuspecting customer to the risk of finding a strand of my son's ginger locks in their lunch.)
Barbers shops really are strange places and not at all like hairdressing salons. As a female, one feels completely out of place and as I rammed myself in a corner pretending to read a dog eared newspaper, I could feel the hostile male stares boring into me. All the men sit in rows awaiting their turn and nobody talks, they seem to stake each other out like lions in a pen. It was all very odd and not an experience I wish to repeat - next time he misses the bus, I shall get out the hair trimmers and he'll have to make do with a number 2 all over. Bye for now.